Jindagi na milegi dobara ( Hindi Poem )

औरो को खुश करते करते खुद्द खुश रहना भूल गए ।
दुसरो की पसंद को अपनी पसंद बनाया हमने।
उनकी चाहत को अपनी चाहत समझा हमने ।
औरो को खुश करते करते खुद्द खुश रहना भूल गए।।

दिखावे की इतनी आदत लगा ली खुद को ।
की असल दिखते कैसे है, ये भी समझना भूल गए ।
गाड़ी बंगला महँगी चीज़े खरीदी बहोत, सोच इससे खुशी लौट आएगी।
पर हम भूल गए ये सब किया भी तो दुसरो को दिखानेके लिए, खुद के लिए कुछ तो करना भूल गए ।।

ख्वाइशें बहोत सारी बना ली हमने।
और उन्हें पूरा करने में जुट गए।
हसिल किया भी जिंदगी में बहोत ।
बटोरी बहोत वाहवाहियां, पर खुद की वाहवाहियां पे इत्तरांना हम भूल गए।
औरो को खुश करते करते खुद्द खुश रहना भूल गए ।।

बहोत घूमे दुनिया मे की कही तो सुकून मिले।
बनाया दोस्त हज़ारो, सोचा के कोई तो हमदर्द मिले।
देखा खुद को औरो के नज़रो से लाखों बार।
लेकिन खुद की नज़र से देखना भूल गए।
औरो को खुश करते करते खुद खुश रहना भूल गए ।।

खुश रहना ऐ दोस्त, जिंदगी अभी भी बाकी है ।
क्या पता कल हो न हो।
जो है, समझ लेना वही है हमारा ।
लाख चाहो फिर भी जिंदगी न मिलेगी दोबारा ।
जिंदगी न मिलेगी दोबारा ।।

Counselling

Our world is changing at a faster rate now, and sometimes we find it difficult to cope with the changes. We try our best to find out the solutions to our problems; however, it seems more difficult. We even discuss it with someone from our family or friend circle, and we get a temporary relief as if we do get from pain when we have painkillers.

Still, we somehow find it hard to get a proper analysis of the situation and to take steps to handle it effectively.

You eagerly look for someone to help you with your issues. 

Some of your friends and relatives may suggest you go for Counselling but, you deny saying, “I’m not sure I need Counselling, but……

To help you, here are some potential reasons when one can opt to go for Counselling.

  1. If you are feeling overwhelmed in any area of your life;
  2. If you think that things are becoming too difficult to manage;`
  3. If you are becoming moody and agitated;
  4. When you experience unwanted changes in your life. You often find that change can overwhelm or challenge you;
  5. You are in a strained relationship;
  6. When sleep is difficult, it may be a warning sign;
  7. When you frequently get ill or feel unknown fatigue or tiredness;
  8. When feeling lost, alone, or isolated;
  9. Self-Harm thoughts.

With Counselling, you have the opportunity to open up about your thoughts, feelings, and circumstances in a confidential, non-judgmental setting. 

  • It discusses the client’s emotional issues and works with them to design the best outcome;
  • It assists you to focus on the reason why you feel this way; then finding a solution to resolve these unwanted behaviors.

A Counsellor will listen to what you are saying and to what you are not saying. 

  • She/he helps you to express what you find difficult or impossible to put into words. 
  • She/he helps you to reframe some of your issues, relieving some of your burdens.

When you get support to understand the reason, it can considerably lighten the heavy feeling you carry. 

  • A Counsellor will accept you exactly as you are, whatever you think of yourselves or what you have done. 
  • A Counsellor will help you to see yourselves and others with empathy, thus enhancing your understanding.
  • A Counsellor can help alleviate the pressure you feel and provide solutions on ways to communicate more effectively to dissolve the conflict in your relationships, to gain a new perspective, and take proactive steps to reconnect with others.

So many reasons why having a session or two with a Counsellor can help you improve your thoughts, benefit you in your daily life, and support you in any transition or problem. Going to a Counselling session can be the healthiest thing that individuals can do for themselves. There is nothing wrong with asking for assistance and reaching for help.

Contact a Counsellor today and alleviate the burden and weight you continue to carry around, thus enhancing your abilities to lead a happy and prosperous life.

ABLES Counselling

Being active !!!

One fine day, I was surfing through the internet and came across an article on inactivity and a sedentary lifestyle. I was aware that physical inactivity adversely affects health but never experienced it. So, I decided to have an experiment on myself to understand what an inactive lifestyle does to one’s life.

I decided to work online for a week and postponed all my appointments and sessions so that I can lead a very sedentary life for a week to understand its effect on the human mind and body.

A sedentary lifestyle is a type of lifestyle with little or no physical activity. A person living a sedentary lifestyle is often sitting or lying down while engaged in an activity like reading, socializing, watching television, playing video games, or using a mobile phone/computer for much of the day.

I continued the experiment for a week. Sunday was the most inactive and last day of my experiment. I was shocked to see the unwanted changes in me:

  • Though there was no weight gain, there was a gain in body fat %. There was an increase in fat around the belly region. My face became puffier, making me look more aged. There was an increase in visceral and subcutaneous fat, making me feel heavier;
  • I felt weakness in the muscle, leading to back pain;
  • There was severe joint pain, especially knee and shoulder joints;
  • I experienced some heaviness in my heart;
  • There were changes in the biological clock of the body;
  • There were frequent mood swings and distress in me;
  • I became more anxious, irritating, and restless.

Inactivity and the sedentary life of a week hampered my health, happiness, and wellness of life. It took me the next three weeks to completely nullify the ill-effects of my experiment and to regain back my health. It became a challenge for me to be active again, but I managed it successfully by using my diet and exercise methods and techniques.

I wonder that sedentary life of a week can have so many ill effects, then it is sure to have affected much more adversely to a person who leads a sedentary lifestyle for a longer duration. There are many scholarly articles on inactivity and sedentary life, explaining its ill effects and ways to counter them.

  • Sedentary lifestyles increase all causes of mortality, doubles the risk of cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and obesity, and high blood pressure, osteoporosis, lipid disorders, depression, and anxiety. Worldwide, a sedentary lifestyle is estimated to be responsible for 6% of coronary heart disease cases, 7% of type 2 diabetes, 10% of breast cancer, and 10% of colon cancer cases. 
  • Obesity can be both a cause and a consequence of physical inactivity. Physical inactivity is associated with impaired sensitivity to hormones involved in metabolism, loss of lean muscle mass, and a reduction in total energy expenditure. It’s therefore not surprising that studies have found that physical inactivity can cause weight gain – and in combination with other factors, obesity. Physical inactivity can also be an effect of obesity, leading to chronic fatigue, muscle weakness, and impaired physical performance.
  • It’s a vicious cycle: physical inactivity contributing to fat gain, leading to overweight and secretion of inflammatory cytokines, both of which may drive a further reduction in physical activity levels.

Accumulating evidence suggests that regular physical activity improves short- and long-term well-being by reducing feelings of stress. Regular exercise can help to increase lean muscle mass, improve appetite regulation, and elevate resting energy expenditure.

One can do the following activities as per their schedule:

  1. Low-intensity exercises include taking a walk, stretching, and light gardening.
  2. Moderate activities include pleasure walking, climbing stairs, gardening, yard work, moderate-to-heavy housework, dancing, and home exercise.
  3. More vigorous aerobic activities, such as brisk walking running, swimming, bicycling, roller skating, and jumping rope — done three or four times a week for 30-60 minutes — are best for improving overall fitness.

An active lifestyle leads to a happy and healthy life.

Amol Dixit ( Wellness Coach )

Parenting

Every child blindly relies on their parents for every need. Each child sees the world from the perspective of his or her parent. 

The parents are the first contact, first friend, first guide, and the first guru for every child. That is why it is the highest responsibility of every parent to give the best to their child.

Parents fulfill this responsibility through the process of parenting. Thus, parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Raising a happy, healthy child is one of the most challenging jobs a parent can have – and also one of the most rewarding.

  • Parenting takes a lot of skill and patience and is constant work and growth;
  • Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness. 
  • It also promotes intellectual curiosity and encourages a desire to achieve;
  • Good parenting also helps protect children from developing health issues, antisocial behavior, and addictions.

If the parents lack a good relationship with their child, they will not relate or interact with them. 

Those parents who come from a vulnerable environment might tend to pass on what they suffered or suffering in their life, thus creating the same kind of environment for their child. 

  • They may force their child to see only those aspects of life which they experienced in their childhood or adulthood. 
  • They may compel their child to follow them or their instructions rather than following their thoughts or dreams. 

Such parents want their child to be a better individual without leading him/her with an example. 

The child, in his adulthood, may be successful in his/her career, but he/she may carry that perspective, which was instilled in him or her by their parents, thus depriving him/her of a happy, positive, healthy, balanced, and successful life.

Parents must be able to look at things from their child’s perspective. It will help them to relate with the child in a much better way. 

If parents have a good relationship with their child, they tend to trust them more, listen to their opinions, and agree with them. It gives a child the strength and confidence to express feelings, emotions, talents, knowledge, thus assisting the child to excel physically, emotionally, intellectually, and socially. 

Self-Investment

I follow Warren Buffett, one of the greatest investors that have ever lived, for his quotes, thoughts, and his views on investments.

In an essay celebrating Forbes’ 100th anniversary, billionaire Warren Buffett insisted that self-investment “supersedes” all other investments. He revealed how he overcame his weakness of public speaking early in his career. He enrolled himself in a course to improve his skills. As his speaking skills improved, his confidence grew. 

According to Warren Buffett, improving your talent is an investment no one can take away from you. It is like an investment worth making.

Why is investing in self so powerful?

Investing in self sends a powerful message to self and the world that you are born to live, earn, and succeed. You will never get a better return on life than when you truly invest in yourself.

Self-investment means:

  • You believe in yourself;
  • You plan for your own personal and professional development;
  • You are engaged in a continuous, and mindful, lifelong learning strategy;
  • You have taken the time to identify what you don’t know instead of letting others tell you what they think you don’t know;
  • You pursue ideas, programs, and training that are a step or two or three beyond your current level of comprehension;
  • You make yourself travel on a path of self-discovery and self-worth;
  • You are willing to make investments in enhancing your abilities;
  • You are giving yourself honest feedback and work with others who will provide you with honest and direct feedback.

Invest as much as you can in self starting right now, and you will see returns beyond anything you could imagine. Investing in self means to invest in your future. Material things come and go, but your knowledge stays with you.

Here are some ways to help you make the most of your investment –

  • Set goals;
  • Cultivate positive habits and stick to them with a daily routine;
  • Invest in building your confidence;
  • Invest in learning, surround yourself with excellence;
  • Attend seminars, conferences, meetings, and workshops;
  • Choose to be happy and healthy;
  • Invest in a Mentor / Coach.

Invest in self for a happy and prosperous life – ABLES

Know your well-wishers

Energy is the very strength and vitality we all require to live a dynamic, driven, and determined life. 

The happy people have a high energy level, while unhappy have a low energy level. A healthy and happy person indeed is one filled with energy. It helps them to fulfill their dreams, pursue goals, and overcome obstacles. 

Have you ever had the experience of feeling bored, threatened, overwhelmed, or depressed after just a few moments in a particular person’s company? Or have you experienced the following symptoms of being:

  • Overwhelmed;
  • Stressed;
  • Physically ill ( headaches, body aches, etc.);
  • Mentally or physically exhausted;
  • Irritable;
  • Anxious.

If that describes a familiar experience, chances are you have been in the company of an emotionally immature individual (EII), who have the sense that the whole world revolves around them.

Some of the characteristics of emotionally immature individuals are:

  • They are almost incapable of seeing things from another person’s perspective;
  • They often lack empathy;
  • They are blamers;
  • They are judgemental;
  • They are melodramatic;
  • They are jealous;
  • They are the insecure ones, always in constant need of reassurance and acceptance;
  • They feed their ego(loves to dominate, debate, argue, and pick fights);
  • They cannot create or sustain their life force in any positive manner;
  • Always whining, complaining, and gossiping;
  • They perceive others as the solution to their problems;
  • They are takers rather than givers;
  • They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and avoidance of life’s real issues.

These people can be your family, relatives, friends, clients, colleagues, neighbors, or even strangers. And they come in all types.

Most of the people who come to me for counseling are some way or others who are in contact with these emotionally immature individuals. Unknowingly, the counselee helped and supported the immature behavior of these people, which affected them adversely, leading to emotional and physical imbalance.

During counseling sessions, we try to identify these emotionally immature people in the life of the counselee and try different customized methods to deal with them.

Some of the methods one can use to deal with such emotionally immature people are:

  • Know your well-wishers;
  • Practice self-respect and self-reflect;
  • Surround yourself with positive, genuine, and caring people who inspire you to be your very best;
  • Practice Meditation;
  • Employ ‘Let Go’ attitude;
  • Limit your interaction with them, if possible;
  • Practice assertiveness;
  • Encourage EII to develop their strength rather than spoon-feeding them;
  • Talk to a Mentor / Counselor for guidance.

Everybody must learn and strive to nurture the energy within themselves. Our thoughts and emotions play a critical role in conserving and enhancing our energy resources.

Dieting – An art to follow…

Dieting, such a common word we hear nowadays.

As a dietitian, I came across many people who said they followed many diets; followed a specific food diet; starved themselves but with no desired results.

It was a challenge for me to change the mindset of my clients, so I had to introduce a concept in the diet program – Diet Counselling and Coaching.

We tried to understand their daily routines, their eating habits, their thought process about food, and many other things. We worked on their views about food and their eating habit.

I, personally feel, Dieting is an art, one needs to perfect for better health and fitness.

 Dieting means eating the right food in the right quantity in the right way at the right time at the right place to get the right nutrition.

Scientifically it is proven that fitness is 70% of what you eat. 

Diet varies from person to person. For desired results, diet needs to be tailored depending on various factors.

I also get many online queries from my clients about superfoods; they have a prevailing assumption that to be fit, it is necessary to have superfoods. Vegetables and fruits available locally are enough to nourish us, make us strong. 

Everybody nowadays has so much extra information about food that sometimes it is difficult for them to understand where and how to implement it. 

As a dietitian, I try to nullify those errors while making a diet plan. 

I feel happy to hear from people that it is working; it is different. It brings a big smile to my face when they say that we enjoy dieting.

Smile for your success !!!

It was a pleasant morning. I was getting ready for the lecture for students of the renowned institute. The topics for the session were scrolling in my mind.

I was about to leave, thought to have a last glance at the mirror. Everything was fine, my dressing, my posture, absolutely ready for the session

My mirror image: Hey! you are missing something, Amol.

I had a close look at myself, my clothes, my ID card…

My mirror image: Amol, something is missing.

I was now worried about what was that; I was missing. I had a close look again.

Oh!!! I realized It was my smile !!!

I excused my mirror image and did some analysis.

It was the first session at that institute so, I was a bit stressed about the outcome of my session, which cost me my smile. I used my secret techniques; my smile was back on my face.

Then, again came to the mirror for approval.

My mirror image gave me a thumbs-ups: Complete man.

The smile changed my personality so positively; I started feeling confident and full of energy.

I was ready for my session on Personality and Professionality Development (PPD).

Like everyone’s, my smile too was contagious; it spread a wave of happiness to everyone in the session; needless to say, that session was a great success!!!

Smile

There was a smile on everyone’s face; it enhanced their abilities with more opportunities for success…✍️

जीना इसी का नाम है !!!

I want this…I don’t have this….I would be happy if I am rich.….I will be happy if I am famous…I will be happy only if I have more things than her/him…..

अगर आप इस चक्रव्यू में फसे हो तो थोड़ा सोचिए…सब मिलने के बाद भी क्या हम खुश होंगे ???…..and answer will be definitely ‘No’…It is true…believe me…no worldly thing can make you happy….or.. the happiest people on the earth would have been the richest, powerful, or famous people….but it is not so….

Happiness lies in accepting what we have rather than what we want….it comes from inner self….Think what you have rather than what you don’t have…..If you go around you will see people struggling to meet their daily needs…..but still smiling…and we, though have so much…always stressed up…..

आख़िर क्यों ???…शायद हमने सब सिखा पर जीना भूल गए है…it’s time to go back to basic…rejuvenate the child in you who was happy in small things…जिसकी एक हसीं से पूरा घर खिलखिला उठता था…पर अभी…we bring home all the worldly tensions with us…और हमें उदास देखकर हमारे अपने भी उदास हो जाता हैं।

जबकि, हमारे होनेसे किसीको खुशी मिले, किसीकी प्यारीसी मुस्कान खिल उठे ।…

हमें सिर्फ लेना ही नहीं है बल्कि देना भी सीखना जरूरी है, किसीने सच कहा है…Happy people are givers and not takers…happiness multiply if you share it with others…..

download (1)

सोचना आपको है !!!

जाते जाते एक प्यारासा गीत –

किसी की मुस्कुराहटों पे हो निसार,
किसीका दर्द मिल सके तो ले उधार,
किसीके वास्ते हो तेरे दिल में प्यार
जीना इसी का नाम है !!!

Amol Dixit (ABLES Life Coaching)